It has been a very stop start beginning to the season with 4 events played so far, one of which I decided to miss. Malaysia and Oman were my first events of the Asian Tour season and although I felt prepared, things got the better of me. Oman for example was really a good week and I played well, missing the cut by one shot, but my tournament behavior got in my way. For a good part of the tournament I was able to believe, commit and accept my shot – however despite having a goal of not letting past shots influence my decisions on future shots, I felt overwhelmed and it slowly restricted my freedom and enjoyment on the course. It was a reminder that despite having a single goal of “commitment”, this in itself is still a really hard challenge. As I described in the interview with the EDP, “that week in Oman really upset me”, but several weeks afterwards I am wondering if the week I had in Macao was possible without it. On my weeks off after Macao I had to ask the question, do I actually like golf? How do I feel when I am practicing and playing at Sheringham or hitting balls on the farm? It didn’t take me long to realize that I do like it, quite a lot actually! So being aware and comparing my behavior between practice and competition is a big part of my work.  

My brain is a funny thing and in Macao it did its thing again! It is so creative, even to a point of making up invisible out of bounds lines, blackholes in the green run offs and bunker devils that run out and grab your ball if you hit it anywhere but in the “perfect spot”. You might think I am crazy but these are the thoughts that float in and out of my mind during swings, chips and putts. My week in Macao had to go differently to Oman, otherwise my time strolling down the fairways in tournaments will be short lived – it had to be fun. There wasn’t really a plan to achieve that but one that would evolve. I started to engage with my caddy Alex during the round about my thoughts and fears, letting them be heard and not bottled up. We would joke about the OOB that’s 500 yards away, the blackholes, bunker devils, and the hazards that I’m always thinking about; normalize them. The point I am trying to make with myself is that talking about them doesn’t make them bigger or smaller, they are still there and always will be, I am just making peace with them so that I can get on with my golf shot. 

Don’t think about the big pink elephant in the room! Well in Macao I went to the shop and bought a big elephant, painted it pink, tied it to my golf bag and took it round with me, every shot of the way. (Hypothetically of course).